A COMPARISON OF COMPUTERS AND WOMEN _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ A comparison of computers and women Computer Woman ------------------------------------------------------------------------ doesn't talk (much)(yet) talks constantly does what you tell it often asks "why" or says "no" does EXACTLY what you tell it often intelligent metallic taste or no taste yummy pussy hard metal case soft skin disk drives stay the same size vagina stretches over time standardized parts each wants something different comes with manuals how the hell does this thing work? multi-function mouse multi-function mouth doesn't care if you shower insists on cleanliness many GIF files insists on monogamy batch files automate activities likes variety sits there naked spends money on clothes (but looks better naked) looks impressive on desk looks impressive on arm or face :-) can turn it off demands attention buying computer magazines helps buying girly magazines makes it you work with it difficult to work with usually grey or cream-colored choice of several colors keyboard commands pressing clitoris makes it quiver expensive expensive upkeep minimal upkeep a major part of budget one mouse one breast for each hand parallel or serial ports in back usually dislikes anal sex no reproductive capacity gets pregnant at awkward times can help you with budget destroys budget loads of software available two soft breasts; hours of entertainment! Pepsi Syndrome makes keyboard wet spot makes woman difficult difficult to use one switch turns it on demands foreplay can play games with it will play games with you operating system insures rules change without warning consistent behavior networking allows communication if you do something stupid, all the other women know it immediately ___________________________________________________________________________ Christopher Kline cjk2@cornell.edu Computer Science 1997 Decaffeinated Christ? Jesus Lite (tm)? 50% fewer sins but still has that great Jesus taste? NEW fat-free Christianity-flavored religion substance!