ARE YOU NORMAL? -by B. Kanner Facts about Americans. Did you know that........ -only 30% of us can flare our nostrils -21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. -Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. -40% of women have hurled footwear at a man -85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear -67.5% of men wear tightie whities (briefs) -the average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B -85% of women wear the wrong bra size -3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations -13% of us admit to occassionally doing our offspring's homework -91% of us lie regularly -27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz -29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store -50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods -90% believe in divine retribution -10% believe in the 10 Commandments -82% believe in an afterlife -45% believe in ghosts -13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail -29% of us are virgins when we marry -58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't -10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item -Over 50% believe in spanking---but only a child over 2 years old -35% give to charity at least once a month -How far would you go for $10 million? -25% would abandon their friends, family, and church -7% would murder -69% eat the cake before the frosting -When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton -85% of us will eat Spam this year -70% of us drink orange juice daily -Snickers is the most popular candy -22% of us skip lunch daily -9% of us skip breakfast daily -66% of us eat cereal regularly -22% of all restaurant meals include french fries -14% of us eat the watermelon seeds -only 13% brush our teeth from side to side -45% use mouthwash every day -22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink -the typical shower is 101 degrees F -Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair -9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery -53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on -58% of women paint their nails regularly -62% of us pop our zits -33% of women lie about their weight -10% of us claim to have seen a ghost -57% have had deja vu -49% believe in ESP -4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids -the average girl starts her period at age 12 -44% have broken a bone -only 30% of us know our cholesterol level -14% have attended a self-help meeting -15% regularly go to a shrink -78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home -46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up -30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat -54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet -23.5% admit they don't always flush -45.2% pee in the shower -44.9% pee in the ocean -28.1% pee in the pool -55.2% will let someone else come in the bathroom while they're using the toilet -39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host. -81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants -29% of us ignore RSVP -71.6% of us eavesdrop -22% are functionally illiterate -less than 10% are trilingual -37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR -53% prefer ATM machines over tellers -56% of women do the bills in a marriage -2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks -20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life -40% of us have had music lessons -44% reuse aluminum foil -57% save pretty gift paper to reuse -66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch -53% read their horoscopes regularly -16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men) -59% of us say we're average-looking -Americans of African descent are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful -90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us -53% of us would take advice from Ann Landers -28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex. -51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity -on average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year -20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends -2 out of 5 have married their first love -the biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money -only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand -1 in 5 men proposed on his knees -6% propose over the phone -71% can drive a stick-shift car -45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit -2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light -1/3 of us don't wear seat belts -12% of men never use their car blinkers -44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them -25% of us drive after we've been drinking -4 out of 5 sing in the car -the average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes -men say the average erect penis is 10". Women say it's 4" -56% of men have had sex at work -1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair -62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs -60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand -the most common fantasy is oral sex -women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold -8% of us have regular anal sex -58% like dirty talk during sex -22% rent porno flicks at least once