Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jtchew@netcom.com (Joe Chew)
Subject: Customer support

They should just quit the charade of calling it Customer Support.  I suggest:

     Welcome!  to the Cointelpro Technologies Music-On-Hold
     Appreciation Center.  If you are using a touch-tone phone,
     please follow these instructions for faster service.
     To hear Mantovani play "Greensleeves," press 1. To hear
     a Quiet Storm content-free-jazz arrangement of "Sledge
     Hammer," press 2.  To hear "Eleanor Rigby" on electric
     piano, press 3.  To hear 101 Strings play the theme from
     "Deliverance," press 4.  To hear random infomercials about
     how our other products could enhance your productivity,
     you may press 5 at any time. If you are using a rotary-dial
     phone, please stay on the line, and a  customer support
     engineer will hum "The Ballad of the Green Berets" for you
     in the order in which your call was received.