WAYS TO BE ANNOYING
                                       
   TAKEN FROM "LIFE'S LITTLE DESTRUCTION BOOK" BY CHARLES SHERWOOD DANE  
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     * Take the hotel towel 
     * Pay tolls with $100 bills 
     * Practice the art of limp handshakes 
     * Tell the ending of movies 
     * Give little kids clothes for their birthdays 
     * Leave the toilet seat up 
     * Take more than 
     * items to the express checkout lane 
     * Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic 
     * Finish other people's crossword puzzles 
     * Use the last square of toilet paper 
     * Tailgate the elderly 
     * Drum your fingers during other people's presentations 
     * Blow out other people's birthday candles 
     * Don't leave a message at the beep 
     * Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot 
     * Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways 
     * Eat produce at the market; don't buy it 
     * When giving directions, leave out a turn or two 
     * Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food
       wrappings and those sorts of things 
     * Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April 
     * Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures 
     * See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are
       sitting by the window 
     * Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making
       dinner and hotel reservations 
     * Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons 
     * Go up the down escalator (B.P., this means you) 
     * Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of
       lines 
     * Snap your gum 
     * Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave
       the cap off 
     * Open umbrellas in crowded hallways 
     * Announce when you're going to the bathroom 
     * Read over other people's shoulders on the bus 
     * When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you 
     * Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want 
     * Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower 
     * Chew other people's pencils 
     * Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair 
     * Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces 
     * Tell teenagers how things were in your day 
     * Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation 
     * Pee in the swimming pool 
     * Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then
       cut in 
     * Wear large hats during the movies 
     * Forget the pooper scooper 
     * Race the old woman for the last bus seat 
     * Cause gridlock 
     * Bring 15 things into the dressing room 
     * Draw mustaches on posters 
     * Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back 
     * Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on
       Thanksgiving 
     * Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you 
     * Touch strangers 
     * Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus 
     * Bite your dentist's finger 
     * Fart in cramped places 
     * Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads 
     * Don't stand during hymns and anthems 
     * Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa 
     * Rubberneck 
     * Leave pages in the copier 
     * Be "in conference" all the time 
     * Don't clean the dryer lint screen 
     * Buy it, wear it, return it 
     * Tell people they have bad breath 
     * Smell smoke often and announce it 
     * Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet 
     * Put everyone on speakerphone 
     * Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you 
     * Rain on someone's parade 
     * Make scary faces at babies 
     * Flirt with a friend's spouse 
     * Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team 
     * Pretend you're listening 
     * Shake with your left hand